Kenneth Abbiss

Obituaries commonly only list the facts and figures associated with the person who passed. I find it hard to distill all of my father's life into such a small missive. I wish this tribute to his life to be more, because he was more to us.Ken Abbiss served in WWII, married twice, raised four sons, and is survived by them, one stepson, seven grandkids, and three great-grandkids. But these are just the raw facts. The details tell the story of Ken’s life, and how he touched the lives of others.Kenneth Abbiss was born December 12th, 1920 in Stourbridge, Worcestershire, UK, to Sidney and Charlotte Abbiss. He grew up in post-WWI, and pre-WWII England, and thus knew life at the end of the Industrial Revolution, early automobiles, "Meatless Mondays", ration coupons, and "The Blitz". As a lad, Ken worked in his father's shop, mixing house paint for his father’s house painting business. Later, Ken apprenticed as a bookkeeper, learning the craft of a bookkeeping clark. Soon after the outbreak of WWII, Ken, along with many young able-bodied Englishmen, joined the British military to defend his homeland. Ken chose the RAF, the British Royal Air Force for service. During the years between 1939 and 1946, Ken was stationed in Britain, Canada and British West Africa (now Ghana). His being stationed in Western Canada was very fortunate for myself and my three brothers, as it led to our very existence. While stationed in Canada, Ken met my mother, Marthe Elise Burtis, during a brief furlough in Hollywood, California. They met at the “wrap” party, the last night of the show in which my mother was a dancer, the night of October 11th, 1943. They were so enamored with each other, they spent the whole next day together, which led Dad to miss his train back to his base, making him technically AWOL, for one day. Love at first sight, a long distance correspondence followed, as he returned to service, awaiting the end of the war. Having completed his service with the RAF, he officially arrived in the U.S., via New York, on the Mauritania, on May 27th, 1947. He wed my mother on July 8th, 1947, in Chapman Park Chapel, Hollywood, CA. Later, in New York, he was part of a unique radio broadcast for the time, a distant predecessor of today's reality shows, as he and my mother exchanged vows again, on Radio, on a program known as "Bride & Groom". Having an audio recording of my father's wedding to my mother is special indeed, to hear the nervous voices of a couple in love. After establishing a position as provider as a salesman with Mine & Mill Machinery Company of Los Angeles, CA, Ken and Marthe set about to build a family. Four sons were born to Kenneth, spaced roughly 2.5 years apart. The first was Kenneth, followed by Eric, then Anthony, and finally Martin. At which point, as family lore has it, my mother said “enough”, and that having a girl was just not in the stars. During these years, Kenneth took a job with A.Palmer Scaffold & Equipment in Glendale, CA, where he would rise to the position of Vice President, and work at this career that would span decades. Kenneth became a naturalized U.S. Citizen on August 17th, 1956. Although then and forever after a US Citizen, his charming English accent remained clearly present with him for the rest of his life. Ken's professional life took him on many adventures within the Scaffolding and Equipment industries. He made quite a name for himself within this career, and he acquired many fast friends, and was very well respected. Ken raised us in a loving, hands on manner, but also sometimes with a hands-off approach, occasionally allowing us to make our own mistakes that we might learn for ourselves the life lessons we needed to serve us in our lives. This was a family unit growing in the days before today's ubiquitous commercial television, let alone cell phones and the Internet. Ken's family ate meals together, went to movies together, vacationed together, prayed together and played together. I'm sure many a waiter would cringe when the Abbiss brood would stop into a restaurant for a family meal, always thrifty Dad keeping our selections trained on the "right" side of the menu. Four boys growing up certainly must have presented challenges to mom and dad, but I have fond memories of those times.Marthe Elise, my mother, lost her battle with Cancer in 1980. With three of four boys fully grown and establishing themselves in the world, it was time to leave the nest, now feeling so empty with Mom's passing. The family home was sold and Ken and the boys scattered to several cities in Southern California, Ken moving to San Diego in pursuit of a new job. Fortunate for Dad he made the acquaintance of widower Dorothy MacKenzie, and after introducing her to his boys for their approval, was married in San Diego on January 1st, 1981. Ken thus began his second marriage, and the next phase of his life, taking care of a new love. Travel and adventure appeared to be the order of the day, assisted in no small part by Dorothy's oldest son, Ken, who worked as a pilot for United Airlines. Dad and Dorothy thus traveled around to places they had always wanted to see or simply wanted to see again. When not traveling, they were moving, and subsequently moved from San Diego, for stays of a few years each, or less, in Glendale, CA, Bethel Island, CA, and Apple Valley, CA. By the late 1980's it was time to move even further, this time out of California altogether, to the beautiful small town of Enterprise, OR. To Dad, Enterprise was likely like living in the small towns of his youth in England, and he and Dorothy took to it and made it home for many years. Visits to Dad became fewer and farther between for his sons due to the distance, but each visit was celebrated and cherished. Finally in the early 1990's Dad and Dorothy were struck by wanderlust again, and this time moved to their furthest point ever, all the way East to the very small town of Royal, AR, a suburb of Hot Springs. Involved with a few neighbors and a local church, they settled in to their golden years. Travel now was mostly limited to day trip excursions in the "bus", a small camper Dad purchased. Dad also had the benefit of a large workshop, where he would cobble things together for the house, such as a screen room for enjoying the long summer nights. Dad also spent much of his time "working on the railroad", a huge HO train layout that he designed and built himself. Boys and their train sets!Unfortunately, by the early 2000's it became apparent that there was something amiss with Dorothy. Like so many, she was showing the early signs of Dementia, and all of its destructive effects. In November, 2003, Dorothy was placed in a facility for the treatment of Dementia and Alzheimer's. Her decline was slow at first and then went more rapidly, and she passed away in October, 2005. This left Ken all alone, and far away from his boys in California and Nevada. It was decided that Dad would be best served by moving from Arkansas to Visalia, CA, where he would live near his youngest son, Martin, and his kids and Dad's grandchildren. Dad enjoyed living unassisted for many years there, with frequent visits by Martin and his other sons.By 2010 it became apparent that Dad needed help with his daily activities, so on July 31st, he moved in with his oldest son, Ken, and his wife Lita, in a suburb of San Diego, CA. Dad lived quietly with Ken and Lita from then on, although his health gradually diminished. Dementia had set in with him as well and was accelerating. On October 2nd, 2012, Ken was admitted to Grossmont Hospital to find the cause of pain he was experiencing. He subsequently developed a case of pneumonia, and although that was treated and cured, Dad succumbed to the effects of Dementia and old age, and passed away peacefully at 6:20am, Thursday, November 22nd, 2012. My father was a remarkable and fortunate man. He met two women he loved with all his heart, the loves of his life, and lived a lifetime with each of them, and was with them until they passed. He raised four boys, and gave us his values. He had a sly sense of humor, and a flair for the spontaneous, and a mischievous streak that ran to his core. He was in many ways, a “lovable scoundrel”. He had many friends and few if any enemies. He was confident, decisive, and determined. When life put up roadblocks, he usually found a detour, or made one of his own to get around them. Those he leaves behind will miss him always, our lovable scoundrel is gone. But he left us his lessons, his humor, and more than a bit of the scoundrel in him, in each of us, for us to cherish always. A Memorial Service will be held on Sunday, January 13th, 2013, at 1:00pm, at St. Martin’s In The Fields Chapel, 7136 Winnetka Avenue, Winnetka, CA 91306.