I went into the woods to remember my grandmother.

I've been reflecting on the idea of legacy- the things we leave behind. I had always thought about legacies as something physical and tangible- a house that you built or a book that you wrote. But houses crumble and books can become obsolete- what is lasting are the traditions, values, personality traits and ideas that you shape in others. What parts of grandma live in me? I think many.

Grandma held herself to an extremely high standard. She had a can-do attitude, and probably believed she could do anything. When she failed to meet her expectations, she'd say things like, "What's the matter with me!" Teenage Rachael would reply to her, "Stop dissing yourself! Everything is perfect." Because it was. She really could do anything. I wish I were as competent at life-making as she was, but just the same, I do hold myself- and others- to a very high standard. I think Grandma was more accepting of others' shortcomings than I am- I must have gotten that legacy trait from elsewhere.

She had a very busy life, and did not do much in the way of relaxing. Before I knew her, she had five children, a demanding job, and a house to take care of. Even when she was retired she was always busy- always had multiple projects going on, as well as a farm that needed care and maintenance. This part of her lives in me- her inexorable industriousness. I'm sure that's where I got it from.

My mom uncovered a letter grandma had written to one of her sisters. In the letter she discussed her desire to know more about world religions, and she laid out an outline and sort of schedule for all the topics she would learn about. It seemed to have been written as a way for her to sort out her thoughts, and perhaps for someone else to hold her accountable for doing the research she intended to do. The letter was almost comical, but it reminded me of myself. Perhaps my goals wouldn't take the form of a letter, but they would certainly be in some kind of spreadsheet or flowchart with time-bound milestones. So thanks for that, Grandma :)

Although I knew her mostly through the eyes of a little girl, she left pieces of herself everywhere- in all the people I love- for me to get to know her better, and to be thankful for the kind, generous, compassionate, caring, strong, industrious person that she was.

--Rachael

I miss you.

I will always love you, Mom. You were the most influential person in my life. Rest in peace.
Tom

We Are Remembered

I knew her as grandma. But more recently I’ve been learning about her as my mom’s mother, and as a parent in general. I live my life by a code, or a saying, that my mom told me when I was young. I’m sure she said many things that helped shape who I am today but the words I remember the clearest are “A strong man doesn’t swing his fists”. And anyone who’s known me since before I can remember knows I was a violent and angry boy. But with help from this lesson I’ve grown into a kind and gentle man.
Being a parent is about teaching your child everything you know and more. I learned so much from my mom and can imagine how much of it she learned from hers. Through me and all her grandchildren, these lessons, as well as new ones, will continue to be passed down.

We are remembered.
The lives we live
And the lessons we teach,
By the people we love.
We are remembered.

Jackson Elliot Hughes

Some Thoughts on Grandma Opfell:

I’m extremely proud of her, and never doubted any of her convictions. The notion of a grandmother being anything but intelligent, tolerant and loving is baffling to me. She was always stable and strong. She always made me feel safe. All I can do now is look back an feel a sense of guilt that I didn’t talk to her more, or more importantly, listen to her more. So I guess she’s still still holds the honorable title “the East Coast Guilt distributer”. I have so many strong memories with Grandma, and I’m having trouble thinking of words to put to them.
Love,
Kaity Hughes

When I first met Celeste

I remember going to the Iowa Union back in 1948 or so when Clarine Wall and my sister Ruth introduced me to Clarine's younger sister, Celeste. She was A freshman in the School of Nursing and fresh from Mo Valley HS.
Love, Jim Opfell