Rob's Remarks at the Zoom Memorial
Rob’s Remarks at the Zoom Memorial:
I’ll address you all with some words about Sonny. Words can’t possibly express what he meant to all of us; but I’ll try. And then, I’ll have some words for him as I know he’s eavesdropping on this Zoom Call. I almost expect him to Zoom Bomb us at any minute. It’ll be a feeble attempt to capture the man, but here goes.
Words matter.
The difference between Black Lives Matter and All Lives Matter speaks volumes. So, words do matter.
Actions matter as well.
There is a difference between wanting to be a good father and actually being one. I mean, raising your children – providing them with a good home and great values - teaching them to be good men and women when they grow up are the actions of a good father, like mine.
Sonny, my Dad, could talk the talk (boy could he talk) AND he could definitely walk the walk. He was larger than life. Everybody knew him and he was almost universally loved. There will be others today who will tell you about what a good, friend, neighbor, employee, mentor and all-around good guy he was – and he was all of those things and more! Others will tell you about all his good deeds and actions for them and the communities he served.
What I want to tell you about is how my Dad talked the talk and walked the walk of fatherhood. He was a man of words and a man of actions for his son & daughter.
What words spring to mind when I think of Dad?
Teacher, Trailblazer, Leader and most of all Family.
Teacher, he taught me many things in many ways, some I liked, and others well - let’s just say we didn’t see eye to eye – as we both always wanted to be right. But, I have to say, he WAS right most of the time and I was wrong.
As a teacher, he introduced me to words like the Vet, Connie Mack Stadium, Franklin Field, the Spectrum, and to people like Roman Gabriel, Timmy Brown, Hal Grier, Randall Cunningham, Harold Carmichael. Jim Bunning, Lefty Carlton, Chris Short, Johnny Calison and Richie Allen. He took me to my first baseball game at old Connie Mack and my first Eagles game at Franklin Field.
He taught me the value of competition through sports; the intricacies of developing strategies to win and when you didn’t win how to lose with grace and dignity – and how to make sure to do better the next time.
He showed me the difference between a suicide squeeze and a sacrifice bunt in which the actions may seem the same but which are designed to lead to very different results. He taught me how to scout your opponent and to develop strategies to defeat, neutralize, eliminate, placate, master or negotiate (again words do matter) with the opponent – whether that opponent was a rival sports team (like Roman Catholic or Arch Bishop Carroll), a gang member (From like the Osage Avenue or the Creek Gang), a police officer (like the one who threw me in his paddy wagon and locked me up for a day at 55th and Pine) , a standardized test, an AP curriculum or a Bar Exam. In short, he taught me how to overcome obstacles; plan for success; what to do with that success if and when you get it; and how deal with it; if success eludes you. For all those lessons, I will forever be in his debt.
Teacher, Trailblazer, Leader and Family.
He was trail blazer. In many ways – especially in the neighborhood where Desi and I grew up. He was a white collar worker in a blue collar hood and his collar was Boyd’s white. He went to work looking like a CEO in the best clothes that Philly’s finest Men’s Store had to offer. Decked out head to toe with silk ties, cuff links, tailored shirts, fedoras, and sharp winter and trench coats. He wore three piece or two piece suits – which ever was in fashion at the time and he was always fashion forward. He kept his clothes and his shoes (shining them every night always with shoe trees in them) impeccably. In a word, he was clean! Son, he would say, dress for the job that you want, not the job you have. Now, let’s go down to Boyd’s and buy you some clothes.
Dad, I want to thank you for your sense of style and all the money you spent on my clothes, knowing that I was never going to take care of them as well as you did yours.
Teacher, Trailblazer, Leader and Family.
Dad was a leader, who lead by example. Words matter …. but ofttimes actions speak louder than those words. He knew (and constantly demonstrated) how to get along with people; what makes people tick and how to get them to do things. He knew how to cajole, push, plead, convince, negotiate, sweet talk and bully if he need to (usually with me) to get folks to do the right thing as he saw it even if they didn’t want to.
He knew how to shame, pester, lament, expose and threaten and arm-twist to get folks to stop doing things that they shouldn’t – even if they wanted to maintain the status quo. He was a change agent.
He knew the value of a kind word, of a thank you note, of sending Christmas cards – all the little things. He remembered, folks’ names, what they did for a living, their relatives, spouses, teachers and pets. He knew where they lived, where they moved from; where their kids went to school; what they were studying and when they were supposed to graduate. He kept in touch with folks from Desi’s and my college years, our old neighbors long since gone from Ellsworth Street, my Law School classmates, his Air Force buddies, his Binswanger colleagues – even members of the Creek Gang that terrorized me as a kid. He was like a walking Google, Wikipedia, Instagram, Facebook and iPhone all wrapped into one. Watching him work a room deploying his magic was a sight to behold. I am very honored to have been witness to it for over 60 of his 90 years.
Finally, Family.
Dad deployed that magic with the family. Now, we had family in and around Philly which I’ll get to in a minute but he knew all of those things about legions and generations of family members (young and old) from different branches of the White Patton Shives family. He was at home conversing with the Chicago Cousins as well as the folks down south in South Carolina living in the shadow of the old plantation. He was always on the phone or texting with cousin so and so from someplace and asking me whether I remembered meeting them (and their kids) at the family reunion back in 1978. He wanted to send their grandkids a middle school graduation gift. Of course, I didn’t remember, but he did.
The family I did and do remember were the ones he introduced me to when I was that middle school kid. They were his Mother, Bertha who he and I visited together every Saturday religiously for years, taking the bus up to 26th street and Columbia Avenue. His brothers, Cle, Steve and Leon who we visited almost as often – except for Steve who lived in Harlem and from whom we got our first car so we didn’t have to take the bus no more.
He was crazy about his sister Mary, her husband Russell, their vivacious daughters, Rozzie, Seal, Marty and Daisy and their progeny and their progeny’s progeny. He is the last of grand ma Bertha’s children to join her – truly, the last of a generation, born into the great depression. He always told me that times were tough but with the help of his family, he made it through and had progeny of his own.
Well Dad, as you and your progeny discussed on our last Skype call, times are tough yet again today. 2020 is pulling no punches. From canceling your 90th birthday soiree on the Vegas Strip, to keeping you in doors with no visitors for the last few months, to reminding us both of our Saturday visits to Columbia Avenue back in 1968 when Frank Rizzo policed and Columbia Avenue burned, to forcing us all to Zoom your Memorial, to your heart giving out last week, this just isn’t what Desi and I wanted or expected. I know if you were here you would say that Its time for family to pull through together again. I am sure with the help of those Zooming in we will make it through these times.
I hope you and mom are happy together and I look forward to paying you back for all that you’ve done for us when next I see you.
Happy Fathers’ Day
Word.
In Loving Memory...
To Robert, Desi and Family, you have our deepest sympathy. Sonny was a wonderful person and I was truly blessed to have known him and have loved him as my father-in-law. Wishing you peace to bring you comfort, courage to face the days ahead, and loving memories to forever hold in your hearts. Sonny will be dearly missed. Love, Chetuan Shaffer and brother, Don Shaffer
Rest In Peace
To the family of Mr. Shives, know he will be remembered by the clergy of St. Cyprian Church and by the faithful parishioners who knew and respected him so much. He is a pillar that will be missed. May he Rest In The Eternal Peace of Christ. Rev. David A. Fisher
Binswanger Company Email Remembering Robert Shives
In Memoriam- Robert Shives March 23, 1930-June 15, 2020
As we approach our 90th year, our collective memories of those who laid the foundation for the firm become dimmer. That does not mean that we shouldn’t pause to remember those people, especially upon their passing.
Robert Shives is the employee who has the 4th longest tenure in the firm’s history, only surpassed by Frank Binswanger, Sr., Frank Binswanger, Jr and John Binswanger. For about 50 years, Robert (whom many called Bob) was an integral part of the soul of the company and yet never directly made a real estate deal. As a young black man in his teens, Robert joined Binswanger to work in the mailroom in the original offices on the 14th floor of 1420 Walnut Street. (It was actually the 13th floor, but as that was considered bad luck, Frank Sr took the space and relabeled the elevator buttons. ) For the next five decades, Robert moved around the company, serving in all manners of administrative capacities.
My first memory of Robert was as a young kid, when my twin broth Richard and I would visit our dad in the office. My father, not knowing what to do with us (some things don’t change!) would pawn us off on Robert. He would have us help him with odd tasks, some probably invented to keep us busy. One of our favorites was to get to use the copier. That included putting our faces onto the glass and pressing the copy button to see what our smooshed visages looked like. (I know some of you are thinking that the side effects of doing that repetitively probably explains a lot.)
Robert cared a great deal about this place and all of the people that worked here. For years after he retired, we could always count on him to come to any company gathering. We looked forward to seeing him at the Company Holiday parties.
There are only going to be a small few who get this email who will remember Robert. But even if you didn’t know him, I hope you will take some time to pause and think about all the people in this company who ensure that we do the best we can for our clients and our co-workers. There are a lot of folks who have done that over the years, but no one exemplified it more than Robert Shives.
With his memory in mind, we thank all of you who are keeping that spirit alive.
David Binswanger
